Clair Debley-Turner and Marie Mewburn, the management team at the Sunflower Charity Shop in Rye, held a joint celebration to mark the store’s fifth anniversary on Saturday 25 July. The occasion was also a chance to remember the life of Valerie Hobbes who volunteered at the shop on Cinque Ports Street.
“As our shop reached this milestone, we wanted to take a moment to celebrate while also remembering someone very dear to us. This anniversary is dedicated to the memory of our recently departed volunteer, Val, whose kindness, generosity and dedication touched the lives of so many. Her time, energy and caring spirit helped make our shop the special place it is today, and her contribution will never be forgotten.
“While we are grateful for the past five years and all that we have achieved together, we also carry a sense of sadness at Val’s absence. We hope that by dedicating this milestone to her memory, we can honour the difference she made and keep her memory alive in the heart of our shop and our community. Five years of memories, friendship and community are a lasting tribute to someone who will always be remembered.”
Valerie’s family share the eulogy that was given at her funeral
Valerie was born in Heathfield in 1934 to Joe and Iris Tottman. Later, the family moved to a smallholding in Northiam, where she grew up alongside her sister Maureen and her brother Derek.
Life on that smallholding planted the seeds of a lifelong love for the countryside. It was there that Valerie discovered the simple joys of tending animals, growing flowers and vegetables, cooking wholesome meals and turning her hand to anything practical or creative. It was the beginning of a life defined by ingenuity, resourcefulness and an unwavering belief that almost anything could have another use. Nothing was ever thrown away if it might one day prove useful – and more often than not, Valerie was right.
In September of 1957, Valerie married Bert, and before long they welcomed their two children, Sandra and Trevor. Family life was busy, happy, and full of love. Alongside raising her family, Valerie spent many years running the local school kitchen, where she became a much-loved dinner lady, remembered not only for the meals she served but for the warmth and kindness she shared with generations of children.
After twenty years, Valerie’s and Bert’s paths diverged, and life led her to meet Neil who became the love of her life and her soulmate.
Together they shared 40 wonderful years, united by a love of caravanning, working their allotment and making the most of life’s simple pleasures. During this time Valerie joined a local ladies’ darts team, which was very successful, due in no small part to her prowess as a formidable player.
Neil’s passing four years ago left an immeasurable void. Valerie missed him deeply, yet her remarkable resilience carried her forward. She rebuilt her social life, joined craft clubs, embraced holidays and outings with new friends, and found comfort in the companionship of her much-loved cat, Tutu, whose gentle presence helped ease the quietness at home. She was also much supported by her neighbours of over 60 years, Yvonne and Ernie, who shared trips and allotment duties, keeping her company when the void left by Neil was felt the most.
Her newer neighbours of 18 years, Darren and Sharon, also proved immeasurably helpful in many ways. The practical help in the garden provided by Darren was greatly appreciated and the kindness and compassion shown by both was a testament to the goodness that does still exist in our small community
Never one to sit still, Valerie also became one of the oldest and longest-serving volunteers at the local Sunflower shop, working there for a decade – a role that she carried out with the same generosity and enthusiasm that characterised her entire life. It was something of which we were all immensely proud. But these are only the milestones of Valerie’s life. Facts alone cannot capture the extraordinary person she was.
Valerie was truly one of a kind, a remarkable woman shaped by the generation that raised her. She was endlessly kind, endlessly curious and genuinely interested in everyone she met. She could happily talk the hind leg off a donkey, (sorry Sharon and Darren), cook you whatever your heart desired, knit you a jumper, sew you a dress, or disappear into one of her famously packed sheds and return with the exact item needed to mend whatever had broken. Those sheds were more than places to store things; they were treasure troves of a lifetime spent believing that everything had value.
Even in her later years, Valerie embraced modern life with characteristic determination, becoming surprisingly proficient with her smartphone. Well… mostly proficient. There were, of course, the regular calls to the family IT department, usually accompanied by more than a few silently rolled eyes, but those moments became treasured memories in themselves.
She also continued to drive at the age of 91, which, mostly, we wished she wouldn’t, but in fairness she had an exemplary driving record: so what did we know?
Sandra and Trevor could not have loved their mother more, nor been prouder of the woman she was. Together with her daughter-in-law Lynette and her son-in-law Paul, they have been inspired throughout their lives by Valerie’s quiet strength, boundless generosity and remarkable ability to make the very best of whatever life placed before her.
Her passing leaves a space that cannot be filled: a Valerie-shaped hole in the hearts of all who loved her. Yet if there is one lasting gift she leaves behind, it is her example. She showed us that a life does not have to be grand to be extraordinary; that kindness costs nothing, that hard work brings satisfaction, that family and friendship are life’s greatest treasures, and that happiness can often be found in the simplest of things.
Those who knew her can only hope to live their lives in a way that would make Valerie as proud of them as they have always been of her.
‘A life well lived. A life well loved. A life that will never be forgotten’.
Image Credits: The Pope family , Kt bruce , The Pope family , KT Bruce .